Waitin' for the grade

Did I pass my finals? I think so.I didn't get as much studying done as I had wanted (but isn't that the way it always goes?) and I had a hard time concentrating.. so I just took some notes and went over my class notes before the tests. I finished my Abnormal test with 30 minutes to go before the Sex class stated, so I looked over my notes real quick and started in on the other test. I'm not sure how I did, but I know no matter what I will pass the classes and get an A; just maybe not a 4.0 as I had wanted. Afterwards I went to the bank and post office. Spent the day laying around with my mom and catching up on my sleep. Yesterday was also my parents' 26th Anniversary, so they went out to dinner. I made brownies for my parents and wrote on the sidewalk "Happy 26th Anniversary" and all of that stuff.Today I went shopping with my mom. There are back to school sales everywhere so I'm trying to take advantage of them to buy stuff on my uh.. very tight budget. I ended up getting a sweater coat thingy, a shirt, and three pairs of underwear. Once I get a job I'll work on pants and other necessities. The weather is finally warming up, so I laid out in the sun for a couple of hours. Later I laid in bed for awhile, just kind of felt crappy (damn headaches.. those will probably never go away). My mom woke me up for dinner and was all lets go to a movie, and everyone was like "yeah!" so I got dressed real quick and we went and saw The Others. By the time we got there the previews were rolling and there weren't any good seats left, so we picked the very last row that had 4 seats, but the seat I got was broken so my poor mom had to sit behind us in the handicapped seat. The movie was good, though.The drive home was, of course, eventful. Damn idiots all over the road.. teenagers pulling in front of you. Some idiot drove in front of us to turn into the mall and drove in the exit side, not the entrance side. Who gave that dumbshit a license? Then the light turned green and we were turning, and some asshole started to walk across the street when he had a dead no walk sign. Where do these people come from? Every other person in the world is an asshole. Once we got to our neighborhood we cruised the block to see what was going on.. drove by some jerk's house (he lied to all of our neighbors, it's a long story) and he was standing in his yard so I made faces at him. People in my neighborhood irritate me. Just a bunch of egotistical-over educated-gas guzzling-SUV driving-soccer mommy and daddy-snot nosed brat raising-self absorbed-designer clothes wearing LOSERS who think they are better than everyone else. It's frustrating to live in a society where people don't care for others or follow laws or well.. even act decent.I miss my B. :( Sometimes I feel like I'm a bitch to him.. I get my headaches and it's hot out and I get all irritated and I snap at him.. makes me feel really bad. He treats me so wonderfully.*Pay more. Expect less. State Farm.*

Oops.. lost a week or two

I haven't written lately, mostly because not much has been going on. Just my usual school/home routine. This is my last week of Summer classes. My instructor finished both of her lectures today, so there's no class tomorrow (which gives me a chance to do some serious studying.) Finals are on Thursday and then I'm done. If I get A's on both of my remaining finals there's a good chance I can 4.0 in all three of my classes, so I'm aiming for that. This week we have had some interesting topics of discussion.. one day in my Sexuality class we even watched some porn clips. Very interesting.My brother mentioned to me that he hates it when I talk to people about him, so after this entry I will probably be mentioning him very little, or not at all. On Friday he went in for jaw surgery. I was scared for him, and he was a little nervous, but not doing as bad as I would have been in his place. We drove downtown and went through the pre-op procedure and then sat in the waiting room. The surgery lasted two hours, and he was then in recovery for one hour. After that they moved him to his room for the night, and my parents, myself, and his girlfriend all went up to see him. He was doing pretty good, still drowsy. His face and lips were really swollen and he had an icepack on his head/face. It was kind of cute though.. he had a tube in his nose for oxygen, and after he fell asleep he was snoring with the tube in his nose. Kind of weird.We left at 9:30 that night and returned at 7:45 the next morning. Checked him out at about 11:30. He said during the night he had nice nurses, except for one rude one that ripped the icepack off of his head and just made a lot of noise in his room. He had to use the bathroom around 1 am, but instead of calling the bitch nurse he said he just moved his tray, got out of bed, and dragged his IV behind him to the bathroom. Once we got him home we propped him up on the couch. In order to eat he had to squirt liquid into his mouth with a needle that has a plastic tip on the end. By the end of the day he was eating soft foods like applesauce and could even sip from a cup. I was pretty amazed. So.. he's just been sitting on the couch watching movie after movie. Swelling has gone down a lot. His woman is over here every day babying him. She had a procedure done on her foot today, so when I got home from class there were two little patients sitting in my family room.My dad finally wrote to State Farm (::coughcoughgag::) complaining about the service we received and the amount charged for car insurance. Our agent sent a letter back that basically said "sorry sorry sorry", but that's all bs and doesn't change anything now, does it? So I plan on writing complaint letters of my own, and mailing them off to the appropriate agencies. I get so sick of these companies ripping people off, especially when they've been "valued clients" for 25 years and no one in the family has any accidents or tickets. Little goody goody drivers.. and in the end does it matter? No. Because insurance companies don't care AT ALL about the health or well-being of their customers.I get so sick of drivers acting like shitheads. Cutting me off, pulling out in front of me. Yesterday I was waiting to turn onto 99 and some bitch pulled out from behind me and went around, when our lane has to wait because the opposite lane has the right away. I was like fucking bitch.. I wanted to go ram into her car. I am really, really irritated with driving and cars and people.Lately the weather hasn't been too great. Not the usual Summer we experience around here. Kind of medium temps and clouds. Blah. So much for my tan. ;PB is doing okay.. just moving along. Things aren't great with him, but they've been worse. Yesterday we were talking about schools and where he would transfer up here, so I'm going to try and send some school catalogs for him to look at. I always feel like he isn't be taken very good care of, so I try and take the best care of him I can. It just sucks that I can't do the mommy/homemaker thing yet and fuss over everything.*Pay more. Expect less. State Farm.*

Irregular heartbeat + bloodpressure = ?

I am too screwed up.I went to class on Wednesday, and we just sat around and filled out our little fitness worksheets. Class was coming to an end and what does my instructor do? Gives us our final test. As a take home. So Wednesday night instead of doing my article that was due Thursday, I sat there for hours and looked up the answers to my 100-question multiple choice test. I skipped out of my Psych classes, thinking it would give me more time, but I didn't accomplish what I had expected to.Yesterday in class we finished up our work and portfolios and turned them in. I turned in my test, also, and the instructor graded them real quick. I got an 88 on it. S'alright with me, whatever. I should get an A out of the class.. I'll know by Wednesday. I skipped out of Psych again (seeing as I had been up until 2 the previous night and I was dead tired) and stopped by the bookstore on the way home. I was looking for an APA writing book, but all I found were stupid writing books, one of which mentioned APA on two whole pages. So I gave up and went home. Last night I felt sick.. it's one of those things where you feel like you're going to throw up and you have a really bad headache.Today my mom took the Malibu to work, so the guy from the car lot could come by and put the new plates on it. She woke me up at 7 am to ask me how to release the parking brake. It's amazing, but she made it to work in once piece.I woke up at 10:30 and ate and watched TV. After that I was thinking about the insurance company and I got so riled up and my stress level skyrocketed.. so I hit the treadmill to try and get my energy out. Then I took a shower and ate some soup and sat down to try and do my Psych article. All I have done is the title page. My heart just isn't in it at the moment.. Things anger me so much. Like *every* little thing. Shithead insurance companies. Stores that rip people off. "Popular" people who treat others like crap. Everything pisses me off and stresses me out and gets me riled up. I just hate everything so much. Another thing that stresses me out is money. I don't even have a job or any money. I worry about my parents, and them paying for everything that they do. I hate money. I'd rather be in debt and work at paying everything than feel guilty for my parents paying for everything and worrying where they'll get the money from.My dad still hasn't straightened out the insurance mess. Everything that affects me I have no control over. I'm the one being insured on the damn car, and it's all a mess. And I can't even call to straighten it out, cos it's not my car. So I'll just sit and wait for two weeks until my dad can get around to it.I feel like a total psycho stressed out nutcase. I feel like I go crazier and get more bitter with each year. Lately I've been super touchy and moody. I feel like I'm a bitch, especially when I talk to B and get all snappy.

Surrounded by A$$H@LE$

If anybody has State Farm insurance, you should be kicking yourself right now.The day started off fine.Went to Wellness.. blah what a boring class that has become. We talked about weights and exercises today. I hate the exercise portion of the class.. we don't actually have to do any but we have to make an exercise plan and there's a million worksheets to fill out. I found out I got 12 extra credit points, so my test score went up to an 87. Can't complain about that.Abnormal Psych was kind of boring, talked about neuro transmitters. Some guy came and talked to us about being Bi-polar. In Sexuality we talked about sexual dysfunction. Got our tests back.. I received a score of 96. Can't ask for much more than that. Made me pretty damn happy and glad that I've improved my study habits.At this point, I will now bitch about crazy drivers. I went to the parking lot and got into the car. Turned on the radio, locked the doors, all of the pre-drive rituals. I pulled out of the parking spot and stopped at the end of the row and waited for other cars to pass by. Well, as I waited some asshole in a truck started to back at straight at me, and I'm like HELLO, AHHH, etc. There was nowhere for me to go! He saw me before he got too far, and thank God I didn't have a heart attack. I then pulled out, and on the way down to the main road the truck asshole decided the speed limit wasn't fast enough, so he zipped off around me and pulled in front of me. I wish I had a gun.. I'd like to shoot shitheads like that. First they almost back into you, then they zip around you like they're the God of the road. People were driving like idiots today, I don't know how many times I was like AHHH don't hit me for fucks sake, watch where you're going.I got home, ate and watched some TV. I felt tired so I laid down for a nap, because if I'm not awake and my brain isn't functioning I obviously can't do any work. So I laid down and napped, and then woke up and had something to eat. My head was kind of hurting.. has been aching a little off and on all day. I did a little bit of homework, but not nearly as much as I need or should get done. I don't feel very motivated to do any of the work I have due this week.. I know it'll get done somehow but I was just feeling kind of eh. Took a shower. Went down to dinner.My dad got home about then, and he was opening the mail. The insurance bill and insurance cards had arrived. Like I had mentioned before, on the phone they told my dad it would be over $800 every 6 months to insure me and the car. My dad was already pissed off about that. He had changed the deductible and taken off towing, because I now have Triple A and roadside assistance. Well the bill came, and the stupid fucking idiots not only had the wrong deductible, but they had towing still on there, too. The bill was a whopping $1,000+. Over a thousand fucking dollars every 6 months for that car. They want us to pay $2,000 A YEAR for *ONE* car. Stupid motherfucking money hungry, braindead, deaf, idiot assholes can't even get our insurance right, and they charge us a shitload of money. I REALLY *REALLY* hope nobody has State Farm insurance, because I feel BAD for you.At that point I became very upset. I mean, here I had been in the car during the accident. I was driving. It wasn't my fault, but it's still like I should of seen something, should of done something. It's like I could of seen something, I could of done something. And now we have to go through all of this shit with the insurance company and sleazy car salespeople and tabs and all of this extra bullshit stress that my parents do not need, and the insurance company is the worst of them all. I get so angry, and sometimes I blame myself so much. It's as if *I* caused the stress, it's my fault my parents have to deal with this. I got so angry.. I just started to cry and my mom was like oh stop it, and I was like shut the hell up, you weren't the one who was in an accident in that car. I mean, I can't do a damn thing. Just sit back and smile and wait for phone tag to iron out the problems with our situation. Because the insurance assholes DON'T GET IT, and they DON'T CARE. So what can I do? Nothing. Just sit here because I have no way to channel my anger, nothing to do, no way to help. This was a situation that started off only with me, and *I* can't do a damn thing about it. So I just bend over and the insurance company acts like morons and I take it up the ass. So after I started crying I just went upstairs, grabbed my dinner off of the counter. I was so angry I forgot a fork, so I just sat in the TV room and ate with my fingers. ::Sigh:: I knew it would never, ever stop.

...

Written earlier:Ugh! President Bush is such a jackass. This illegal immigrant thing drives me nuts. Why on earth would anyone want to make over 3 million illegal immigrants permanent residents? First these people sneak into our country, then they run all over the place and beg for jobs or money. They live off of our government programs and taxes. Now Bush wants to make them residents, which only encourages more illegal immigrants to sneak into the country and live off of us. Plus, once these people are residents our taxes pay for their training programs. What the hell is up with that? Bush just wants to train all of these immigrants and send them back to Mexico, so they have education and skills, which they earned on our time and money, and then he can do more business with Mexico and the President there. Not only that, but by doing such a thing he gets in good with minorities and makes it look like he cares about them and he's trying to do something to educate them. Plus, a lot of immigrants will work for whatever wage you suggest to them, so he can probably weasel some cheap labor out of the deal.

Seeing A's (I hope)

Last night I couldn't sleep, because I had the Sexuality test today. I noticed lately that I can't sleep the night before a test, which is really annoying. But I got up this morning and ate and got to class on time, which is good.In Wellness we talked more about the final project. The instructor informed us that the test we took was based entirely on our textbook, and not any of the lecture notes. Gee, I wish she would of mentioned that *before* we took the test. I got a 75 on it, which isn't great, but I passed, and some in there can't even say that. It's funny my score was that low, because I read all of the chapters. Anyway, she forgot to hand out the extra credit questions on Thursday, so we filled those out today. With the extra credit my test score should go up to a B.My Abnormal Psych test was also ready. Diana cancels out questions that everybody in the clas answers wrong, and there were a couple fo those, so they were freebies. I ended up with a score of 91, which I'm very happy with. Now I just need to continue working on that article, which is not an easy assignment. I'm glad I have my Intro Psych book still, though, cos it's helpful. Took the Sexuality test. I think I got an A on it.. I answered the questions with little trouble and I knew exactly what to write for the essay questions.Today it was really rainy, which we haven't had rain in awhile. This week I have to spend some time away from B so I can finish all of my work.. I'm determined to get all A's. I have reading and extra credit to do this weekend. I feel bad, but he understands I have a lot of stuff to do and I need to raise my gpa. I wish I could smooch him and hug him. Aaron and Julie's relationship is getting very EH.

Full

Today I slept in.. as I usually do on my days off. I woke up even later than usual, though. I rolled out of bed at almost noon and made myself some breakfast/lunch and watched a little tv. After that I took a shower and got cleaned up. Had something else to eat, then settled into studying for Monday's Sexuality test. I think I'll do better on this test than I did with the Abnormal Psych test; even though I feel I did alright on the Abnormal one. Only time will tell.I'm also hoping for some good news on my Wellness test. Tomorrow I have to study for the test, work on my fitness program for Wellness and my article for Abnormal Psych. More than I want to think about right now, but I'll get through it.Tonight we went out for dinner for my Birthday. We went to Olive Garden (Julie came along) and that was fun. We went early so there wouldn't be the long, boring wait and big crowd. I ordered the Seafood Portofino or whatever it was.. very good stuff. I usually get Shrimp Primavera, but now the two are tied for my favorite. After dinner we came home and watched re-runs of "Leave it to Beaver" that my parents had recorded at our previous house. That show was actually funny.. I remember it being dull and stupid.Lisa and I need to do something soon, before she goes off to school. I think a movie would be cool, or going to the mall and looking around. Of course that would suck for her, because she works there now, but I'd like to look for a license plate holder. We also need to go do our "nature stuff". Maybe if the sun comes out again we can go to the beach.The last couple of days my emotions have been on the low cycle.. I feel kind of indifferent I guess. I love my B, and we talk about everything. He knows so much about me it's almost scary, but not scary. I feel very close to him and I miss him, and I know he misses me a lot.